Published on September 3rd, 2013 | by The Fake Lantern0
Former President Gee Still Not Sure What His New Job Is
COLUMBUS, OH - A full two months after his forced resignation from Ohio State’s presidency and insertion into a new university position, former president Gee is still not quite sure what his new job even is.
“I keep looking for clues in what people call me, but they just keep saying ‘former President’ Gee,” said former President Gee. “Mostly just no one talks to me.”
When asked, at least, what the former president’s responsibilities were at his new position, former President Gee admitted he didn’t even know that. “I’ve been given no list of duties — not even a mission statement or anything.”
So what does the former president do each day at work? ”I just sit at this desk. It’s a very nice desk, but the door is always closed and not a single soul ever enters. I just wait.” Gee then solemnly stared out the lone, barred window in his office for several moments before remembering he was being interviewed. “They don’t let me leave.”
At the time of this article, former President Gee had decided for himself that he was probably the provost.