Published on August 23rd, 2013 | by The Fake Lantern0
President Alutto: “We Forgot To Put The Wells In”
COLUMBUS, OH – Just weeks after the long-awaited completion of the seemingly interminable South Oval reclamation project, a visibly embarrassed President Alutto stood before the media and OSU board of trustees to admit the unthinkable.
“We forgot to put the wells in,” squeaked the interim president to groans around the room and several immediate exits by board members.
News of the error is expected to bring heartbreak and unrest to a university community that had believed the 77-year geothermal wells project to be complete. In recent weeks, students and faculty alike had only just begun to fully comprehend what the still-fenced-in South Oval even was. Now they will be forced to lose it again.
While the press conference seemed to end just as quickly as the chances current students had for ever really knowing the South Oval, Alutto made sure to announce the new expected end date for the project, saying there was no expected end date for the project at this time.