Published on August 17th, 2013 | by The Fake Lantern0
Freshman’s Parents Might Just Stay In Dorm Tonight
COLUMBUS, OH – Citing the already pretty far distance they had driven today, freshman Todd Floyd’s parents decided they just might spend the night in their son’s dorm room tonight.
“Whatta ya say; this futon’s big enough for your mother and I,” said Todd’s father Mark with a light chuckle as he shoved the two-person seat into place against the wall. According to uncomfortable witnesses, the first-time-college-dad was probably joking but actually might not have been.
Additional reports indicated that Todd’s mother Marta Floyd also chimed in, saying, “Leave him alone, hun; he needs his space,” before kissing her son directly on the face while one of Todd’s three new roommates stumbled past with a full box of clothes.
According to sources, Mr. Floyd then continued on, exclaiming, “Hey, this room is a lot bigger than I thought it would be from the diagrams!”
Further reports also suggested that Mrs. Floyd was significantly impressed with the room’s bathroom. “Look how clean it is! That won’t last long…unless I stay here,” added the mother with a wink.
Both parents were also thrilled with the attractiveness of the girls across the hall. “Ooh look at her; she’s ca-yute (sic),” whispered Mrs. Floyd to her son and the two dozen other new freshmen also within listening range with another wink. “I bet your dad wouldn’t mind sleeping over there,” added the mother with less shame than should have been possible, again, winking. Mr. Floyd did not comment on the issue but did pass several glances in the direction.
Finally, after all had been moved in, Mr. Floyd gave his son a hearty handshake and put the joke to rest. “Hey, I’m just messing with you pal,” said the father to the relief of everyone within earshot before ruffling the hair of his son. “No but seriously sport, we are going to need to crash here tonight.”